Hey, Y'all!

Weekend Sanctuary

I love rare weekends like this one when no one really has to be anywhere or do anything.  The only thing we HAD to do this weekend was karate on Saturday morning, but that was over by 9:20, and by 9:45, Dean and I were back in our PJs eating pancakes while Marcus went out fishing.  I've been under the weather this week, so I desperately needed a day to be still and do nothing. That's hard for me, but I made myself do it.  I spent way too much time looking at screens, yes, but I also gave my body a crucial break.  Not a single load of laundry got done.  I did make chili in the crockpot, but that was easy. We snacked our way through the afternoon, enjoying fresh apples, cider, candy, and cheese.  I splurged and drank an extra cup of coffee, but I also got in my 96 oz. of water.  We all snuggled on the couch and watched a silly movie together.  We flipped between football games.  Dean and I made a Thanksgiving dinner for his plush toys out of construction paper, and he told us all the story of the first Thanksgiving about 30 times. We finally convinced him that Marcus was not on the Mayflower.  We read a lot. While we do have our fill of screens, we also live surrounded by books. Dean is taking a real interst in story pictures, which they do in school a lot, so we spent some time drawing his versions of his favorite stories.

Today, we slept late, which for us means 7:00. Dean got up and went straight down to the family room, while Marcus got to work making sausage and biscuits in the kitchen.  I relaxed in bed for an extra 15 minutes, which felt like the greatest luxury.  We enjoyed breakfast together (Dean calls breakfast sausage "little hamburgers"), then spent some more time drawing adn chatting.  Marcus went fishing while Dean and I played games and watched game shows.  We all went to the grocery store and picked out our Thanksgiving turkey, then treated ourselves to Burger King for lunch. (Oh, the greasy goodness!)  I baked cookies and beer bread this afternoon. Dean is playing with his Mario figures and a pair of kitchen tongs. Marcus is watching football and trying to pretend he's not shopping online for a Smart TV.

We need our downtime around here.  Our weeks are so busy, what with rehearsals, extra activities, karate, last-minute trips to the store, laundry, and the like.  On weekends like this one, we don't set alarms, we don't leave the downstairs light on (because Mommy doesn't have to get up before dawn!), and nobody needs a nightlight.  It's glorious.

There are so many things in the coming season to see and do and experience;  it's been nice to hole up in our coccoon this weekend before the crazy starts.

Calm

I've seen a lot of people adopting words for this year. If I had to choose one, I guess it would be CALM.  The past couple of weeks have blown my mind in a good way. I imagined I'd like my job, but that a little part of me might leave the office sad every day, missing the fast-paced life of a production stage manager, wishing I were in rehearsal or coordinating 40 costume fittings.  While I certainly do miss some things about my old job, I am so incredibly happy right now.  My job is quite fulfilling--I'm using my stage manager brain CONSTANTLY. My entire day consists of creative problem-solving, trouble-shooting, soothing hurt feelings, maintaining relationships and organizing details.  I'm enjoying the work and the people. I was, I admit, very worried about feeling isolated--I work in a cubicle, pretty much on my own unless someone needs me. But people need me a lot. I talk to our presenters on the phone a lot and I walk over to the production offices several times a day to check in about this and that.  My job really is a nice balance of production and administration. The best part, though, is that when I'm done with my workday at 4:30, I can stand up and walk away, knowing that I won't be dealing with anything else work-related until 8:30 the next morning.

My mommy guilt has dissolved and I cannot tell you the freedom that I feel.  My family looks at each other's faces again. We are not rushing through things like we had to before. There's plenty of time for us to "waste" twenty minutes when we get home relaxing on the couch, doing our own thing, before we delve into "how was your day?"  Dean wants to tell me what he did at school and, because I work at a place he thinks is super cool, he wants to hear what I did, too.  We make and eat dinner together at a leisurely pace every night, not just once or twice a week.  I have put Dean to bed every night for the past 10 days and it has been glorious. I feel so well-rested. I'm on top of housework. Marcus and I have time to hang out together and talk or goof around on the internet (FAIL videos are our new favorite) instead of spending the little time we have together talking about logistics or figuring out who can find a sitter for that week. I know things won't always seem so easy, but right now, this is so wonderful.

It was hard to walk away from my job, but I know now that it was absolutely the right thing for us right now.  This is the speed at which we need to be living at this moment. 

I saw a quote on Pinterest the other day that said, "I will be happy with a calm life." I think that's my new mantra.

 

Rediscovery

This fall has been really nice so far.  I've had a lighter work schedule, which has given me oodles of time with my guys.  I always love fall with Dean. Fall was the first season we all shared in our current home, so it always reminds me of his tiny 8 month old self, which, besides four years old, was my all-time favorite Dean age.  It's fun to remember him as a little chubby baby sitting in leaves or exploring the pumpkin patch.  He's to the point now where he likes to look at pictures of himself as a baby and ask what we were doing.  I made a Facebook album of all his pumpkin patch pictures throughout the years, this being his fifth Halloween. 

One of the best things about being a parent is the rediscovery of childhood fun.  The other night, we checked out the Disney version of "The Headless Horseman" from the libray and the opening strains of the Ichabod Crane song took me back to my own childhood.  A few of my favorite rediscoveries include:

Reading aloud.  More specifically, listening as someone else reads aloud.  Marcus is the preferred bedtime reader in our house and I love being able to just sit back and enjoy the stories with Dean.  I also like going to library storytime.

Kid foods.  Y'all.  I had forgotten how delicious gummy fruit snacks were.  Dean has recently developed a taste for tilapia, so we buy frozen tilapia fillets, which look like big fish sticks.  They are tasty.  Dean doesn't like things like spaghetti O's, which is weird, but Marcus does.  Also? Juice boxes are the bomb.

Getting dirty and making messes.  It's such fun to let your popsicle drip all over yourself, assuming you can rinse it off in a timely fashion. (Because OMG STICKY YUCK!) It's also great fun to make a huge mess with play-doh, cookie dough, cake batter, etc.  Dean likes covering himself with bubbles when taking a bath. Sure it takes an extra rinse or two, but it gives us a lot of smiles.

Going to bed early.  There are days when I'm down for the count by 8:30. This is a good thing when your small person wakes you at 6.

Magic.  It's everywhere--we just have to remember to look. Kids have an easier time finding it.

Our Top Five Childrens' Books

Alissa over at Clever Compass has stared doing the Friday 5, a list of five things in a different category each Friday.  This week is top five books for children.  This was harder than I thought--we read a lot over here.  I'm sure I'll leave a few favorites out, but here are our family's top five, some current, some from the baby days.

1.  Morris The Moose Goes To School.  This was my all-time favorite in grade school.   When we had quiet reading time, I made a beeline for the book rack and read this every single day of first grade.  I got a copy for Dean when I was pregnant. He likes it, especially now that he goes to school himself.

2.  Green Eggs and Ham.  This is my husband's all-time favorite.  He is the only one who's allowed to read it aloud in our house.

3.  Horton Hatches The Egg.  "He did what he said and he said what he meant .  An elephant's faithful, 100%."  We could all learn a lot from Horton.  I had the great pleasure of reading this to a class of fourth graders on Dr. Seuss Day this year. I got all weepy when they said that line with me.

4.  The Elephant and Piggie series by Mo Willems.  I can't pick a favorite.  None of us can.  I am a bit partial to There's a Bird On Your Head, but I have not found an Elephant/Piggie book yet that we all don't love.  I mean come on--the elephant's name is Gerald! How can you go wrong with that?

5.  Goodnight Moon.  Can't be beat.  Dean now "reads" it to us. (He's heard it so many times, he's memorized it.)

What are your top five childrens' books?  Head over to Clever Compass and link up!

 

 

The Joys of Summer

I would have called this post "The Boys Of Summer," but that phrase and the Don Henley song bearing that title both remind me of this so-horrible-it-was-funny sex ed video they made us watch in University Seminar class my freshman year of college.

Dean and I went to the pool yesterday with some good friends. We had such a blast! I was very proud that a lot of the things we worked on last year, like putting your face in the water and exhaling when you jump in, stuck.  He wore his arm floaties with no complaints and swam around like a fishy.  He even asked to jump into the deep end. I caught him (tightly), but he did it.  There's a pool at the house where we're staying on vacation. I have a feeling we'll be spending much of our time in it.

I was the good mom, diligently reapplying sunscreen to Dean, who was wearing an SPF 50 swimsuit and rashguard.  We started swimming at 10:15. When we got out of the pool at 3:00 (we took a break at noon for lunch in the shade), his cheeks had the tiniest kisses of pink on them.  When we got home and changed into our dry clothes, however, I looked in the mirror to discover that my own face looked like a raccoon, big white circles outlined in red.  My shoulders are the color of a lobster with some very snazzy strap marks. It huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurts.

I have not had a sunburn in YEARS.  I think the last time was during one of my summerstock gigs. We spent all day on a party barge promoting our shows as we cruised down the lake. One of the girls I was with suggested I rub Preparation H on my burn.  I did.  (If you think of what it's for, it kind of makes sense.)  The burn instantly felt better and the red turned brown overnight.  Score.  I remembered this trick last night and quickly ran out for a tube of Prep H.  GUESS WHAT DID NOT WORK!?!?!?  Marcus, ever helpful, recommended soaking a washcloth in white vinegar and blotting my burned parts with it.  I thought he was messing with me and that it would be horribly painful.  Turns out, it's pretty soothing.  The smell, however, is another thing.  Our entire bedroom reeks of vinegar. Dean even noticed. He walked in and asked, "Mama, you making Easter eggs?"  I got some aloe gel today, which has helped. I just can't believe I let this happen. I know better. Alas. Battle wounds and all.

We've been enjoying our summer so far. It has involved movies, popsicles, fireflies, some educational games, lots of playing with toys, stickers, painting, picture-taking, water fights and books. Dean has spent a lot of time in his underpants.  (Oddly, right now he has on 2 pairs of shorts, but no shirt.  I don't know.)  We've all been trying to relax and just enjoy being at home. We hit the road next week for twenty fun-filled days with family and friends.  We'll head to DC to visit our family, with whom we'll hit the beach for a week.  On the 21st, I'll hop into the car with Alissa and head down to Charlotte for Type-A Con.  There are no words to tell you how excited I am about this conference.  I haven't been to a blogging conference since 2010 and I am very ready to recharge my battery and see my "tribe."

I hope each of you will have the time to enjoy the special things summer has to offer. Or at the very least, to eat a popsicle.

Treasure and Trash

We've been cleaning out my grandparents' attic this week.  We had no idea what we'd find.  We found some very sentimental things, like a giant cross-stitch magnoia my grandma made, countless boxes of photos and letters, and the ceramic lambs that decorated my nursery.  Among the things that surprised us were:

4 stadium seasts

A 40-year-old ice cream maker

2 rusted handsaws

6 baskets of silk flowers

2 boxes of love notes from my high school boyfriend, complete with bad poems (why, yes, we read them aloud!)

A box of toys none of us remembers

Some personalized storybooks from my childhood, which Dean has been enjoying

And my personal favorite...

A paint scraper masking-taped to a stick. (???????)

 

We spent yesterday afternoon combing through boxes of letters, photos and mementos.  I found several shots of my grandma on her honeymoon, lots of pics of my grandpa's retirement party and even some family photos I'd never seen.  I also came across a whole pile of letters congratulating my grandpa for passing the Bar in 1971.  So many of these things are important to our family's history.  Since Dean never knew my grandfather and may not remember Mim, I hope to go through these things with him some day to help him piece together who we are and where we got our start.

 

Have you ever found any unique family treasures?

Mim

My grandma, Mim, passed away on March 22.  My husband, of course, has been the one with the right words during this time.  He told me a few days ago, "I keep feeling like I need to explain to people what it is you're going through. You didn't "just" lose your grandmother, you lost your MIM."  He couldn't be more right.

Mim and I had a special bond from the start.  She had 2 boys, so I was the little girl she'd always wanted to spoil and dress in cute clothes.  She was one of my first playmates and best friends.  I spent countless hours at her house when I was little, especially since we only lived a mile from her house until I turned 6.  After we moved away, we still visited all the time on weekends and I spent at least a week (usually longer) at her house in the summertime.  We had secrets that we promised never to share with anyone else, secrets I'm now the sole bearer of.  We had a blast together, talking about everything from pop culture (she was an avid Hard Copy and National Enquirer fan) to boys to fashion to food.

She cheated at gin rummy. She was a brittle diabetic, she knew I worried about her blood sugar. I remember being about 15 and playing a long game with her, a game at which she was kicking my tail.  Suddenly she screamed, "OH, help me! I need a Coke! "  So I jumped up and grabbed one for her, then, once she'd had a few sips, we returned to our game.  While I was up, she'd stacked the deck.  She laughed and laughed.  I swore never to play with her again.  We played for hours the very next day.

When I was very young, she was my real-life imaginary friend, Sue.  We went on grand adventure to the park, chased the ice cream man down the street, ate our weight in McDonald's hashbrowns and swam in her neighbor's pool.  Mim was in her early 40s at the time and sported a bikini.  I am 35 and think twice about leaving the house in capri pants.

She loved "flashy" clothes with bright colors, cute shoes and jewelry. Oh, my, did she love her jewelry.  Whenever she'd see me, particularly during the college years when my wardrobe consisted of sweat pants and flannel shirts, she'd scoff and say, "Jennifer, you need to wear your jewelry."  She reminded me many, many times over the years of the need to accessorize.  When I turned 25, she gave me a gorgeous black diamond necklace that she'd received for her own 25th birthday.  I wear it as much as I possibly can now.

She adored the color yellow and instilled in me the belief that every house should have at least one yellow room because it will make you happy.  Above all material things, she adored butterflies and collected them throughout her life.  We buried her in a brand new yellow sweater and a butterfly necklace I'd bought her at EPCOT Center on a high school dance team trip to Disney World.

She was in the hospital for a problem with her eyes when she had a massive heart attack.  She spent her last few days in the Cardiac ICU, where she received excellent care and where we were treated like royalty.  We were allowed to stay with her for as long as we wanted.  Two days before she died, the last day I was able to be with her, I brought in my iPad and filled it with music she loved.  We listened to Rod Stewart and Engelbert Humperdink.  We reminisced, I told her stories about Dean, we laughed, we held hands, we looked each other in the eye.  She gave me explicit instructions about a few things she wanted me and only me to take from her house.  She went over exactly how she wanted her graveside service to go.

On Thursday, March 22 with my dad by her side, she quietly slipped away. 

And now she's gone.

So much doesn't make sense.  I've never lived in a world without her in it, so I've felt adrift over the past four weeks.  I've picked up the phone to call her several times.  I bought a card with butterflies on it today, just because it made me think of her.

I know I'll see her again someday, but it's so hard not having her here now.  I'm pressing on because I have to.  It's what you do.  Life doesn't stop. Everything is heightened, though.  Right after she died, I felt the lines between Heaven and Earth were very, very blurred, like I could almost reach out and touch the hereafter.  Those lines are becoming more clear every day, though, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. 

Loss is something I've certainly experienced before, but this  one is hitting me harder than anything else ever has.  I'm going to take it day to day, the only thing you can do, and think of her as often as I can. 

And I'm painting my guest room yellow.

Merry. Also Bright.

Christmas was downright perfect this year.  We hosted my grandmother and my parents and Dean got everything on his list. I realize Christmas is not about material things, but it sure was nice to see his face light up when he saw that Santa had delivered the two toys he's been talking about for MONTHS.

I'm not sure I could think of 2 more opposite requests than the ever-manly Optimus Prime and the very pink LaLaLoopsy Ferris Wheel.  Both have been played with for HOURS already, along with the slew of other prizes from Santa, us and the grandparents. 

This is the coveted Samurai castle. It has a million parts, all of which move, a dragon wagon (bottom left) and a whole bunch of Ninjas who can change their "costumes" as Dean calls them.  It's pretty rad.

Dean had a blast jumping on playing with my grandma.  Lucky for us, she's got more energy than the rest of the family combined. 

We loved hosting Christmas at our house. We gave the place a deep-cleaning in the days before company arrived, decorated the yard, even broke out the festive Christmasy kitchenware.  We abandoned the traditional turkey meal in favor of Marcus's killer flank steak, served with my own roasted brussels sprouts (with bacon, of course), baked sweet potatoes, huge salad, lima beans (my family's favorite), awesome bread and approximately 6000 desserts made by my grandma.

We opened presents all day long, enjoying every package, playing with toys, laughing at this and that.  It was a perfectly relaxing Christmas and Dean had the time of his life.

Hope yours was just as merry.

Chutney

Casey has good ideas a lot of the time.  She just rescued two sweet kitties. (Go look at her pictures. Your heart will melt.)  She keeps talking about them. It makes me want to pet them.

Every time Marcus takes Benadryl, we somehow end up talking about getting a cat. He's been talking about it a lot lately while NOT on Benadryl, so I finally figured out that OH. He's serious.  Dean's getting to the age where he is perfectly capable of helping care for a pet.  It seemed like just the thing our home might be missing.

Today we swung by Pet Smart, like ya do, where they house shelter kitties for adoption.  There were two gorgeous 7 month old torties, Tasha and Tisha. While we were standing there, Tisha got adopted. We talked to Tasha through the glass and she was responsive to us.  Marcus got very quiet. We looked at some other stuff, then left the store. 

We thought about her all afternoon.  Finally, after about 2 hours, Marcus said, "Her name is Chutney." And with that, she was ours. We loaded Dean into the car, drove back to the store and adopted ourselves a kitty.

This sort of crummy phone picture does not do her justice. She has the most gorgeous red highlights in her coat and one adorable khaki-colored paw.  She's a little nervous right now--she's had a big day, after all.  But we're all giving her space and taking our time getting to know her.  I think after a while she'll fit right in.

I'll Fiddle Your Rooster

Dean, Grammy, Papa and I spent yesterday at the Fiddlin' Rooster Farm Fall Festival (say that three times fast!).  It was FUN.

Dean learned how to rope cattle and we rode a cow-themed train.  There were chickens to see and pig races, corn cobs to shoot at targets and a huge corn maze.  We climbed a haystack and slid down a really fast slide.

The weather was perfect, the refreshments tasty.  

We had ourselves a big ol' time.

What did you do this weekend?