It started out innocently enough. It was Monday evening, the 5th of July, and we'd just returned home from a rollicking good weekend at my parents' house. Marcus had rehearsal, so we decided to go to Wendy's for a quick dinner before going our separate ways for the evening. I was jazzed about getting a taco salad, one of my favorite fast food meals EVER. I get it every time we go to Wendy's. I can't even tell you the last time I looked at a Wendy's menu, in fact, because we always get the same thing: Taco Salad for me, "Lady Burger" combo for Marcus (my pet name for his Single, no cheese, with ketchup, mustard and pickles ONLY), and hamburger kids' meal with oranges and milk for Dean. I approached the register, which was being run by a trainee named Britney, who had a less-than-pleasant attitude, and began spouting off our order. Rufus, the manager training Britney, looked at me like I'd sprouted an extra head and said,"Ma'am, we don't have a taco salad." Um, WHAT? "We have a Baja Salad, but not a taco salad." Now, we ate at Wendy's on June 9, which was the day we returned from vacation, and guess what I had? TACO SALAAAAAD! So I was all, "HUH? When did this happen?" and Rufus was all, "Uh, I think a couple of weeks ago" and I was all "Why did no one contact me!?!? I haven't even seen a commercial about this!" which led Rufus to ensure me that I'd like the Baja Salad, especially the red jalepeno dressing. (NOTE TO SELF: Next time someone offers you red jalepeno dressing, BACK AWAY!)
Anyway, Rufus talked me in to trying the Baja Salad and it only took Britney 7 tries to ring it up on the register. It looked ok, mesclun greens covered with raw tomatoes (GAG), chili and a giant blob of incorrectly-colored guacamole. I was not presented with tortilla strips, much to my disappointment, but Britney threw in an extra packet of red jalepeno dressing for good measure, I suppose. Long story short, it was nasty. I do not recommend it. Bring back the Taco Salad.
Dean and I were so disgruntled by our dining experience (his hamburger was literally drowning in mustard) that we didn't even get a Frosty. When we arrived home, he bolted for the backyard. We spent some time playing on the deck with some rocks he'd found,then he headed over to Marcus's boat. Just as he reached for the hitch, I saw a wasp swarm at his little baby head. I scooped him up and swatted him pretty hard on the side of the head just as a wasp stung the fire out of my knee. Dean was screaming, I was screaming, wasps were swarming, so I started running (very hard to do in flip-flops carrying a 30 pound child and limping). We ran inside and straight upstairs, where I grabbed the phone and did all I could think to do while I checked Dean's head for a sting: I called BJ the Manny. Marcus was already in Birmingham and I was terrified I was going to go into shock and die or something. Dean suddenly stopped crying and jumped off the bed to go and play with my robe, so I figured he must be ok. (plus, I never found a sting on him) Meanwhile, poor BJ was driving like a maniac to get to us because here's what I told him:
Hi, I need you to come over NOW! Some wasps attacked us and I think I'm allergic and my EpiPen isn't here and...there just needs to be another adult here!
I put a cold washcloth onto my sting, then flicked the stinger out with a gift card. And OH MY GOD PAAAIN. I was sure I felt wasp poison travelling up my leg and I assumed it would make its way to my throat eventually. I took a Benadryl and prepared myself for respiratory distress. Finally, BJ burst through the front door screaming "LET'S GO TO THE HOSPITAL!" I told him I thought I was ok, considering shock had not yet set in. He then bolted to the kitchen and came back with a box of baking soda, which he proceeded to pour onto my sting because apparently it didn't hurt QUITE bad enough. (Very thankful I'd shaved my legs that morning.) After a while, the enormous bump began to stop pulsing, the sharp pains got less and less, and the Benadryl kicked in. BJ insisted on staying with us until Marcus got home, which was good since the Benadryl kicked in! (Was loopy! Should have blogged then!)
It's 3 days later now and the sting itches like you would not believe. Every time I get a little twinge or pain on the left side of my body, I'm sure it's wasp poison trying to kill me, but Marcus disagrees. All I know is we bought the biggest can of wasp and hornet spray you can find and they are going DOWN. (Marcus will be doing the spraying, of course.)
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