Hey, Y'all!

And the winner is...

Amanda @ The Mom Job!  Congrats, Amanda, you are the lucky winner of a fabulous Mandolin Slicer, courtesy of Cookware.com!  Email me your snail mail address and I'll pass it along to our sponsor so they can send you your prize!

Thanks to all who entered.  Happy Cooking!

Comfort Food Saturday: A GIVEAWAY!!

In lieu of a recipe this week, I'm offereing you the opportunity to enter an awesome giveaway, courtesy of the good folks at Cookware.com!  If you like to cook (or eat, for that matter), you have to check out their site.  They have everything from gadgets to the oh-so-cute Rachael Ray Cookware for sale, not to mention several sister sites to take care of all your kitchen-related needs.

One lucky reader will receive a Jaccard 200819 Dual Direction Mandolin Slicer.  These little gadgets are great for making things like scalloped potatoes, apple pie, pear tart of just for making slicing easier all around!

To enter, please leave a comment below telling me your favorite piece of cookware or kitchen gadget from Cookware.com or one of their sister sites.  You can earn extra entries by:

1.  Subscribing to my blog.

2.  Following me on Twitter. (@jennelsonlane)

3.  Tweeting about this giveaway.

You can enter as many times as you'd like, just be sure to leave me a comment telling me what you've done!  This contest is only open to U.S. residents. (sorry, Canadian friends...)  I'll use Random.org to pick a winner on TUESDAY.

Thanks and good luck to all!

I should be writing an exam

But instead, I'm writing a blog post that would fit into the Potpourri category on Jeopardy!

Have I shared with you the fact that my husband has a special talent for finding the absolute WORST program on tv or the radio and tuning into said program?  Right now, for instance, he is watching a show about Alabama State Parks that he DVR'd. Doesn't sound that bad, right?  WRONG!  It looks like I taped it with my camera phone and the host keeps saying "idear."  Marcus is actually sitting here watching and nodding. I keep looking at him to see if he's serious, especially when they start quoting Thoreau, and he's like "What?" One time when we were driving back to NYC from DC, he was listening to talk radio. Talk radio immediately puts me to sleep.  I can't help it, it just happens.  I tried to stay awake to keep him company, but when this crazy man called into the radio show and started talking about seeing Big Foot three times in a month, NOT COUNTING the time he appeared to him IN A FIRE, I think my body just passed out to save me.  (Ok, now he's bobbing his head along to the goofy banjo music on the state park show.  I'm going to have to leave the room.) 

My class has their first exam next week.  Since there are so many of them and only one of me, this exam will be multiple choice with the possibility of a few true/false questions.  I am not a big fan of true/false questions, so I always hate to throw in too many of those.  I wrote about half the multiple choice section today and can I just tell you how hard it was not to make "Your Mom" one of the answer choices???  It just fit so well in some places!  For instance:

Early Greek theatre was performed as a praise offering to:

A.  Dionysus, Greek god of wine, fertility and festivals                                                                    

B.  Aphrodite, Greek goddess of love

C.  Zeus, King of the gods

D.  Your Mom

(the answer is A, by the way)

(The tv host just said "idear" again.)

Today was the first day in over two weeks that it didn't rain.  Dean and I have had cabin fever, so we jumped at the opportunity to go play at the park.  Orr Park, which is where my "About Me" picture up there in the right hand corner was taken, features some beautiful carvings on some of the trees.  Today was the first time Dean has noticed them.  I showed him an old man's face in a tree and he looked at me and squealed with delight.  Then he stuck his finger up the old man's nose.  I showed him the squirrel and he gave it a kiss.  His favorite was the snake.  He celebrated by making the "sssssssss" sound all the way back to the car.

When we got home from the park, I gave Dean a big cup of milk, which he gulped down quickly . Marcus got home soon after that and we all played on the floor together.  Dean crawled up onto my back and I bent over so his head was over mine and all of a sudden I felt something warm...then I smelled it, then I saw it go SPLAT on the rug in front of me.  Apparently we were playing a little to rambunctiously...and Dean spewed...IN MY HAIR.  It was dripping off the front of my hair onto the rug.  Marcus was on the phone at the time, so I started waving my hands, trying to get him to help me.  He looked over and said "What should I do?"  I replied "Um, get vomit boy OFFA ME!"  Dean is fine, he was just over-stimulated.  After running around in circles gagging for ten minutes, then showering (I washed my hair with a washcloth at first so I didn't have to touch it), I felt ok, too.

You'd better believe that story's going in the baby book.

Comfort Food Saturday: Texas Sheet Cake

This is the week my IRL friends have been waiting for since I started posting recipes.  As many of you know from reading this here blog, I bake.  I LOVE to bake.  When I met Ilina for dinner in May, we talkd about her not enjoying baking because you have to follow a recipe.  I giggled because I almost NEVER follow a recipe when I'm baking!  I bake like a lot of people, myself included, cook.  Throw in a dash of this and a bit of that, make sure you have enough fat and liquid, stir it up and call it a cake! 

I've baked this cake for everything from birthday parties to BBQs and it always gets rave reviews.  People I've worked with still talk, years later, about Jen's wonderful home-made chocolate cake.  Well, dear people, my secret's about to be out of the bag.

This sheet cake, which I like to describe as "If Fudge and Brownies Had A Baby," is the best chocolate cake I've ever had.  I cannot pretend to have invented it.  Oh, no.  I got it from.........The Cake Mix Doctor, Ann Brynn.  Do you know her?  She has many books.  Every single one of her recipes starts with a boxed cake mix, but not a single one of them TASTES like a box cake.  The first ingredient in this cake is a box of dark chocolate cake mix. (My friends are tearing their hair out and cursing right now, having thought for years that I spent hours sifting flour to make this cake. HA!)  While I won't take credit for the cake recipe, I WILL take credit for the glaze.  The book calls for a pecan-caramel icing for this cake, but I found that waaaaay too sweet, so I use a chocolate glaze.  The result is beautiful. And easy.  You can take liberties with the recipe by adding different extracts (almond is my favorite) or even throwing in some nuts. 

WARNING:  Not a low-fat recipe.  But very comforting. And tasty.

I'm heading into the kitchen to bake one of these babies in a few minutes, so I'll be sure to come back and  post a picture of my finished product!  Enjoy!

TEXAS SHEET CAKE

1 box dark chocolate cake mix (Don't get the kind with pudding in the mix--it's too moist)

5 tablespoons butter, melted

1 egg

1/3 cup whole milk

Preheat oven to 350.  Lightly grease or spray a 9 x 13" cake pan. Place all ingredients in a large mixing bowl and stir with a wooden spoon.  Don't be alarmed by how thick it gets--it will be like a ball of stiff brownie dough.  Once it's all mixed together, press the dough into the pan. Don't worry if it doesn't reach the edges;  it will expand as it bakes.  Bake 20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.  Remove from oven and allow to cool 5 minutes. During that 5 minutes, I like to poke holes all over the cake with a toothpick so the icing can seep into the whole cake. (optional)

Meanwhile...make this glazey icing!

HEY Y'ALL CHOCOLATE GLAZE

1/3 cup whole milk

5 tablespoons butter

1 cup sugar

1 cup semisweet chocolate chips

In a medium saucepan, combine sugar, milk and butter.  Bring to a boil, the reduce heat and simmer, stirring constantly, until butter and sugar are melted.  Remove from heat and stir in chocolate chips until melted.  Immediately pour over cake and let set for at least 1 hour to harden.

A perfectly ordinary day

Whassup, peeps?  Deano T. Bambino here.  It's been waaaay too long since I hijacked Mommy's blog, so I thought today would be a good day. As you may have seen on the time-stamp, it's after 10pm here.  I'm still awake because I didn't take a nap until almost 4pm today!    !       !!!!    I wanted to tell you all about the fun day I had with my Mommy.  She stays home with me on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I don't go to Big Boy School on those days.  I like it when she's home.  I get to eat breakfast twice and watch Sesame Street in real time.  This morning, I had a scrambled egg and some floating Cheerios (that means they're in milk!), then some of Mom's Crispix.  I also dumped her coffee mug on the floor, so she had to use that stinky carpet cleaning stuff. 

When Daddy left for work, Mommy and I got dressed, I did our hair, and we set out on an adventure.  I enjoy our adventures, especially when they involve the park or Target.  I often get a mango smoothie at Target, though Mommy says my smoothie privileges are currently revoked after I threw one at her last week in the baby clothes section.  Anyway, today we went to Staples to buy some office supplies for some big event Mom and Dad have coming up at work.  I don't know what it is...don't really care, either!  All I know is that BJ, my former manny, gets to stay with me all weekend.  That'll be fun!  At Staples, I was in charge of holding the paperclips.  I think I did a good job.  It's hard work holding paperclips, you know, so I fell asleep on the way home.  Mom thought I was going to take a long nap, but I tricked her and woke up after 20 minutes. Haha.

When I got up from my power nap, Mom said we were going to have lunch with Dad.  I voted for us to go to McDonald's and Dad agreed.  I had a Happy Meal. I ate my hamburger dipped in ketchup.  Have you HAD ketchup?  It's great!  Almost as good as mustard, which I use for dipping my fries.  When we got back home it was raining outside, so instead of heading to the park like we'd planned, Mommy said she had a surprise.  She pulled out a little pouch we picked up at the Walmart last night and before I knew it, she'd pitched a tent in our living room!  It's a real-live tent! In our living room!  For us to play in!  My little toddler heart was overjoyed.  We sat inside and played with my See-n-Say, read some books and shined the flashlight.  Mommy says when I'm bigger, Daddy and I can sleep in the tent in the yard.  She says she will be upstairs in the bed if we need her.

After a while, we needed a snack, so Mommy let me help her make oatmeal cookies!  I was in charge of beating Mommy with a whisk while she stirred the cookies.  I have to stay away from the oven because it's hot.  Mommy kept trapping me in my high chair when she'd open the oven.  The cookies were oatmeal chocolate chip. They were ok.  I had one bite with a chocolate piece in it and I spit it out.  The oatmeal part's pretty good, though I'd much prefer a vanilla wafer.

After my super nap at 4:00 (hahaha) Daddy was home and played with me while Mommy made us a pizza. (She's a baking fool today, that Mommy!)  I ate a lot of pizza and a pear, then played and played. I rode my tricycle in the family room, picked up my blocks, colored a picture of a penguin, read a book to Mommy and ran up the stairs about 40 times.  Then I took a bath and got Daddy really wet.  I like to lick the side of the tub sometimes when I'm taking my bath.  Mommy calls me "Sham-Wow!" when I do that.  She's weird.

Anywho, it was a pretty spectacular day for a baby guy.  Mommy kept kissing my head when she put me to bed and saying "We had such a perfect day!  I loved playing with you!  I love my booooooy!" I'm pretty sure she was crying because the side of my head was kinda damp.  Get a grip, Mom.  And get me a vanilla wafer while you're at it.

Normally my posts contain pictures.  The camera is broke.  BROKE, I say!  Daddy is looking at the internet trying to fix it.  I think he's muttering bad words under his breath.

JOY

Joy can come in many forms.  Here are a few things that make me downright joyful.

My family. What in the world did I do with myself before those two crazy guys came into my life?

Pedicures!  My favorite guilty pleasure.

 Working in the theatre and teaching.  (This photo was taken on the set of SCAPIN, the show my husband directed in the spring.)

An oven full of food (like breakfast casserole! And quiche!) and a kitchen full of people to feed. 

 

Hot Krispy Kremes.

Cupcakes.  Preferably with sprinkles.

This post is a part of the 100th post celebration at Pleasing To You.  To join in, visit Teri Lynne and link up your post, or leave her a happy 100th post comment! 

Comfort Food Saturday: Dirty Rice

I hate Dirty Rice.  Honestly, I'm not a huge rice fan, though my husband introduced me to Basmati Rice after we wed and I loooove it.  This is a recipe my mom uses.  I have to say, now that my mom is contributing to my recipe posts, I'm often shocked and amazed that she didn't make up all her recipes.  I mean, the woman owns about 200 cookbooks, but I guess I never really noticed her using them. Go figure.  Anyway, be sure you read all the way to the bottom because her commentary is hysterical. (as are my editorial comments....I think.)  We're gonna get her to start a blog one of these days. (Everyone apply PEER PRESSURE!)

Dirty Rice

1 pound extra lean ground beef

2 cloves garlic, minced

2 stalks celery, chopped

1 onion, chopped

1 T. chopped parsley

1 green bell pepper, seeded and chopped

1 red bell pepper, seeded and chopped

1 T. Worcestershire sauce

1/4 t. cayenne pepper

1/4 t. black pepper

1 cup raw rice

1 (14 1/2-ounce) can beef broth or chicken broth

1 cup water

In large skillet, add beef and all vegetables, cooking until beef is done and vegetables are tender.  Add seasonings, stirring well.  Add rice, broth, and water, mixing well.  Bring to a boil and reduce heat, cover, and cook for 25 to 30 minutes or until rice is done, stirring occasionally.

Yield:  4-6 servings.

Nutritional Informatin Per Serving: (Jen says:  My mom is totally showing me up here by adding nutritional info.  Don't get used to it...)

Calories:  313

Cholesterol (mg):  52

Fat (g):  13.4

% Calories from Fat:  38.4%

From A Trim & Terrific Louisiana Kitchen, by Holly Berkowitz Clegg

(You may have seen Holly Clegg on The Today Show or CBS Morning Show.)

Here are the things I do differently because you know I don't follow recipes to the letter. (This is why I don't bake):

I use garlic powder if I don't have garlic on hand, and celery salt (just a sprinkle) because we don't like to chomp down on celery in our food.  We're weird that way. 

I use dried parsley if I don't have fresh on hand. (Jen says:  Mom will never have this problem again!  The entire left side of my house is covered with parsley!)

I use only the one red bell pepper because we don't eat the green ones. (Jen says: Ok, that's just weird. Who are these people?)

I use a dash or a few of Louisiana Hot Sauce instead of the cayenne pepper because I keep it on hand. (Jen says:  For real?  We lived in Louisiana for 12 years and there is no cayenne pepper in your home? Check the spice cabinet again.) 

I use Kitchen Basics No Salt Added chicken broth most of the time and it tastes just as good as with beef broth.  This makes it very low in sodium.

Enjoy!

Jenny (Jen's mom, but not your mom :)  )  (Jen says: She really is cute with the your mom jokes, isn't she?)

09-09-09 = FAIL

A short list of why today did not rock:

1.  Dean slept between Marcus and me last night....always a recipe for disaster. He also woke up every hour and a half SCREAMING.  No fever, no obvious pain, just screams.  Sometimes it was because he wanted some juice. (At least I think he wanted it. He stopped screaming when I stuck a sippy cup in his mouth, so Yes! He wanted juice.)  Other times, it was like he was trying to start a conversation.  Dean goes from zero to sixty in no time. He'd be conked out asleep, then suddenly screaming "Daddyyyyyyyyy!  I go!" at full volume.  My favorite wake-up time was when he stuck his monkey Stu's head in my mouth at 4:45.  Good times.

2.  I woke up feeling like sleep-deprived, congested poo.

3.  I was still tripping on cold medicine during my class.  This led me to make bad choices such as teaching them vocabulary words like "pouf" and "pumpkin pants."  What's worse?  There were illustrations. Done by me.

4.  Marcus and I tag-teamed taking care of Dean this morning since we kept him home from school.  He had a doctor's appointment this afternoon at 2:50.  At 2:20, I figured I'd start getting him ready to go.  I got his shoes on, his bag packed and went to grab my keys.  Nowhere to be found.  I texted Marcus, who was teaching at the time.  Behold our conversation:

J:  Any idea where my keys are?

M:  In my pocket.

J:  Nice, Lane.

M:  Sorry? I love you?

J:  Yeah.  I guess I'm cancelling the appointment.

M: Wait!

J:  I'm calling to cancel the appointment.

M:  No!  One of our office workers is on her way with them now!  Did I mention that I love you?

We made it with 30 seconds to spare.  Not that it mattered.  We spent 30 minutes in the waiting room getting infected with God-knows-what.  The best part of this story, however, was when they asked for my co-pay and I discovered that in Marcus's pocket where the keys were living?  Was my debit card.

5.  Once in the exam room, the nurse lifted Dean's shirt to take his temperature and we discovered a rash all over his abdomen.  I, being the cool, calm, collected and mature woman that I am, immediately started shouting something about Scarlet Fever.  You'd be surprised how fast a pediatrician will run into an exam room when she hears "Scarlet Fever" being shouted in a southern accent.

6.  Turns out, it was a heat rash. He'd been hugging me tightly for our entire stay in the waiting room and was blotchy.  We did, however, get to endure testing for the flu (swab up the nose) and strep (2 swabs to the back of the throat), both of which came back negative.

7.  The nurse doing the swab test missed one side of his throat the first time, so she had to swab it AGAIN, which made Dean gag and then barf all over my arm. It will be a very long time before I'm able to see or smell Annie's Macaroni and White Cheddar sauce again.

The moral of this story:  At least we don't have the Hamthrax.

Here's hoping your day was better.

This post is grosser than I originally intended

I diagnosed myself with Swine Flu on Saturday.  Friday evening, my throat got a little scratchy.  By Saturday morning, my nose was running and I felt super-icky.  Dean had been snotty for a couple of days (he's a daycare kid now!), but I thought that was just because he was teething.  I woke up Saturday a little queasy, but I never ran any fever.  Instead of calling the doctor, of course, I called up Dr. Google, who referred me to her partner, Web M.D.  This is the most alarmist website in existence.  Not only does it provide you with all the symptoms and common treatments for what ails you, it often provides death rates (close to 600 deaths in the U.S. from swine flu) and, often, a gruesome picture, just in case you weren't freaked out enough.  Seriously, when I first got diagnosed with PKD, I looked up "polycystic kidney disease" and was greeted by fun facts about dialysis and a picture of a kidney that looked like it had been smoking 3 packs a day for 40 years.  I guess it could be worse.  I could have dermoids.  (I am totally disappointed that link has no picture.)

Anyway, back to my Hamthrax story.  Everyone was still feeling funky Saturday night, but we all slept.  Dean woke up ok on Sunday, but he wouldn't eat. Like at all.  He had maybe 3 bites of scrambled eggs and 4 dry Cheerios.  By mid-afternoon, he crashed.  We were on Skype talking to my mom when suddenly, he crawled up in my lap and just kind of stayed there.  Before bed we took his temperature, which had been 100.4 the last time we took it, and it was up to 104.4.  CUE FREAK-OUT!  Marcus ripped Dean's shirt off and wrapped his entire back in a cool washcloth and demanded that I call my mother immediately!  My mom had the brilliant idea of  "Why don't you call the doctor?"  Oh yeah! We have one of those!  Granted, it's Sunday night of Labor Day weekend, but SURE! Let's call the doctor!  The answering service (once I finally got there after phoning every phone number in Alabama, as per our doctor's office's voicemail's instructions) was very nice, but said it could take up to two hours for a nurse to call us back, what with the swine flu epidemic.  Of course, in the back of my mind I'm thinking "WE ARE THE SWINE FLU EPIDEMIC!  ONE OF US IS GOING TO SPROUT A SNOUT AT ANY MINUTE!  CRAP,  I SMELL BACON!" She recommended we not go to the ER, as we would probably pick up something even worse than what we already have, plus we'd probably have to wait at least 6 hours to be seen by a doctor.  So we thanked her and waited for the nurse to call us back in 2 hours.

Thankfully, it didn't take 2 hours for her to call, more like 50 minutes.  In true Jen form, the first thing I asked was "Does he have swine flu?" Because you know, she can tell from talking to ME on the phone whether or not DEAN has swine flu.  She told me our symptoms sounded more like a cold or an ear infection.  She gave us permission to up his dosage of Motrin and told us to tag-team Motrin and Tylenol every few hours to keep the fever down.  At that point, Marcus and I broke our number 1 rule of baby-rearing and woke Dean up to give him Tylenol.  He was NOT happy, but took his meds with no struggle.  Then he slept until 4:45, at which time he woke up gagging from post-nasal drip.  I'm pretty sure he shot a small portion of his brain out of his nose this morning directly onto my pillowcase, or at least that's what it looked like,  but at least he can breathe better now.  He had a big cup of juice and Pedialyte and 4 dry Cheerios first thing this morning, then Marcus got us all breakfast from McDonald's and Dean enjoyed his favorite thing ever:  The Hash Brown.

We all seem to be doing better today. No one has fever and the drippiness seems to be slowing down.  I've been doing laundry and slowly starting to disinfect everything in the house.  And you'll be proud:  I've only checked out the symptoms of swine flu on Web MD 3 times today!

Now everybody go wash your hands.

Comfort Food Saturday: 7-Layer Tailgate Dip

It is officially FOOTBALL SEASON!!! I plan to spend Saturday evening cheering for my two alma maters:  the Louisiana Tech Bulldogs, who I hope will SPANK Auburn (here comes the hate mail) and the Alabama Crimson Tide!!  If you know anything about the SEC, you know that our tailgate parties are just as big a deal as the actual football games.  Here's a recipe for one of my favorite game-day dips.

7-LAYER TAILGATE DIP

1--15 oz can refried beans with green chiles

1 cup sour cream

1 package taco seasoning (McCormick is best and comes in hot, mild or regular)

1/2 head iceberg lettuce, shredded

1 bottle Salsa

1 package shredded sharp cheddar cheese

2 bunches  chopped green onions

1 1/2 cup (or one prepared store-bought container) guacamole

Spread beans in bottom of rectangular baking dish.  Spread guacamole over beans.  Mix sour cream and taco seasoning and spread over guacamole.  Sprinkle cheese over sour cream.  Pour salsa over cheese.  Sprinkle green onions over salsa.  Refrigerate until ready to serve. When ready to serve, sprinkle shredded lettuce over the top and dig right in! Great with tortilla chips.